Antonioni dies today

Shocking, but life are not a well planned script. Or maybe yes? Antonioni dies today, one day after Bergman. What does it mean? Does it mean anything? Will they be forever linked now?

Life, and death, don't change Life itself. Only films can do that.

I just finished watching "Opening Night" of Cassavetes. What a creation. Indeed it gave me some answers regarding my questions about the relationship between a filmmaker and her actor. Well maybe not answers, but at least some directions for thought.

Everything is mixed and sometimes control just can't make anything better, so you gotta let thing fall, and fall, and fall on you. At the end you'll get it right.

Most important thing, remember your part. Remember your place. Remember yourself.

Good night everybody, filmmakers, dead or alive, actors, and all the rest.

Deep focus filmmaker

I have a film to direct. But so far, only I know about it. I mean, only I know the film that is on the way. How do I share my perspective with my future actors? How do I explain the film to the actors? How do I know they got it right?

I love intimacy. I hate too many people on the set, I hate when too many people know the story. It seems unfair to the film itself. A film is a living thing. You need to protect it.

Filmmaker writes the script, filmmaker rewrites it. It's done. Filmmaker searches for actors, shows them the script. They say they loved it, they say the characters are interesting. They will do it, gladly. How can a filmmaker tell they really got it?

It's terrifying to find out on rehearsals that you've got the wrong actor. You already placed his face inside your film. He became the character for you. What do you do with it? Try to save it? Look for a different actor?

I hope it will not happen to me, but soon I start auditions and I will try to be as focus as a filmmaker gotta be!

One died, who's left?

Ingmar Bergman died today in his house. It seems like so many big directors die but so little are born.

Just had a conversation with a co-student today. We were in the back seat of my parents' car, after an exam in contemporary cinema. He said it's actually not contemporary at all what they teach us. They talk for 3 years about the films of Godard and Pasolini, but only give 15 minutes to Almodovar and Tarantino. Thats true, and though I really enjoy the time they talk about the older masters, and I even think it's not enough, I can see his point. Nobody talks about what is happening now, those days, on the screens. Sometimes they will mention the great cinematography in "children of men" etc, but that's it.

What is our time? What is actually happening NOW in the cinemas worldwide? And in the small alternative screening places? What do they show? That's what I will try to focus on in the next few months, or years.

In between exams, of course. The one I did today was alright.

A filmmaker on the verge of a nervous break down

Last year I had a teacher, Eitan Green, who used to say that us students have the worst conditions: we ourselves are not experienced and also our team, including actors, aren't. Now I feel he's right, and I wish to have the chance on my next film (this October..maybe) to have at least a cameraman who is more experienced.

I plan to shoot on film and it means rehearsals. I have'nt figured out yet what is the best way to work with actors. I still feel weird to tell them exactly what to do, because I think they should feel what they should do once they carru that character inside them. But then again..

Let's say I have this small hand movement I want the actor to do. Should I really show him? Or should I give up and let him choose his own body movements?

Directing is immoral, but I hope to find the balance one day.

Has free cinema ever existed?

I had to show a film I've made to this fund, America-Israel, so maybe they will give mea scholarship for next year. We sat a few of us in this small room, watching the secretary as she put some papers in endless envelopes. Suddenly the guy in front of me smiled and said: 'dont I know you from somewhere?'. At first I thought he's just too geek to go to clubs so he tries this office for pick up girls. But then something in his voice became very familiar. I asked him to take off his glasses and he did. I recognized him immediately - he played in a short scene i directed some months earlier. It was a surprise, since I had no idea he also directed (that was the condition for this scholarship).

He wasn't a bad actor, just had this annoying American accent that made his speech 100% not understandable. But I actually really like that scene with him. I guess he was a good actor after all, even with the dialogue.

Don't know about the scholarship yet, those guys don't tell you nothing 'till the last minute. Or two minutes after. I also don't really care, but it would be very nice to have.

Anyway, I have an exam the day after tomorrow, and I was sick the last couple of days (the heat!). Also the reason for not posting, but now I'm better and also studying. The teacher is great (Nachman Ingber is the name) but I love learning and not just studying for exams, which is what university makes you do (too many classes). It's a class about contemporary cinema, from the cinematheque in Paris to the Fox Searchlight. Really great class, and I've put Antoine Doinel above just to remind you (and myself) where it all started.

It's really frustrating, but at the moment I find no time to make films, although I really feel like it. And then when October comes and I will have the time, I will be all dried out. I know it.

Future plans and movies, movies, movies!

The opening of "Masculine Feminine": Never do two gazes meet. we see one character sitting in a cafe. Isolated from it's surroundings.
I love Godard (until he became boring).

I have a production meeting tomorrow, and my script is not ready yet. I need to find a cameraman, hopefully a woman, and a production assistant. I actually have someone in mind for the photography, but I'm a bit afraid to ask her, cause I think she's very busy this summer with her own movie. My film is 15 minutes long, 8 pages of script. Many long takes and little camera moves. It has one location (a building) and 80% of it is indoors. 3 characters.

Later today I'll go to the cinematheque. They show an Israeli film from the 80's. I was 7 when it was shot. I don't really like Israeli films, must admit. Some are good, but usually don't get awards and prizes. The ones who do are mostly boring. Those are the ones who make it to the festivals worldwide. It's a shame really. I wonder how I will do. I don't see myself staying in this country. I left before, I will leave again.

After the Israeli film they show La Mome. Maybe I will stay for that too.

The limits of a filmmaker

I remember Thora Birch in "American Beauty" when she said: "I, too, need order. And fucking discipline!". That's how I feel right now. A good artist is one who knows her limits. That's very true for filmmakers. The limits of our budget, of course, but not only.
What are the limits of our characters? What are the limitations of the location we chose? And most important, what is the limit that our own life puts on our film? Where is the filmmaker part of his own film?

Sometimes we don't really understand our own creation. What an absurd - we create something that is bigger than ourselves. Something that we cannot understand.

The picture above is from a short I did last year. I think one day I will reshoot it. I love the story, but it was beyond my limits then. It's a very moody film, but I know I can make it much better.

Right now my limits are my exams, my deadlines, and my life. This is what my film will have to deal with. A film is a living thing!

My conversations with myself

I watched "The conversation" again today. I think it's one of the best films of Coppola, but I'm sure Bresson would make it much better. I didn't like at all the soundtrack, it was too obvious. Heckman is great, as the hunted man trying to change his destiny. It's a film that stays with you after you switch the dvd off, and i'm quite sure it will stay in my head for a few more days. It's good.

Got 96 on an essay I wrote. Subject was identification, violence and technology in Being John Malkovich. I enjoyed writing this essay, and though I could do it better, I'm happy with the results. I'd like to continue and investigate this subject further. My claim is that the identification in "Being John Malkovich" is shared between the 3 main characters, and that whoever is taking the more violent action, wins the identification of the spectator. I would paste it here, only it's in Hebrew at the moment.

My mood is a bit better now, I'm recovering from the bad production I had. Film making takes you to the bottom and then to the top, and I'm allready quite a jumpy person so it seems sometimes too dangerous. But now I've promised myself to be a good student and focus on the exams and seminar works, and of course on my script which should be produced around October. Only real actors this time, I swear!

An armed robbery of a MiniDV tape

The worst experience ever. It was getting worse every minute. It was so bad I thought maybe I should do everyone a favour a quit film school. What a headache!

It all started before the shooting even. Sascha, the second cameraman and a co-student told me he can't make it. A few hours later I had an argument with my sound-gal (my sister) regarding the schedule. After that I was in tears, feeling like I do it all by myself, that I'm the only one who really care about the film. I felt lonely. I was afraid of this production and that never happened to me before. Not like this.

On the set everything went as planned, at least the set-up part. Then we started to shoot and things started to look bad.

The actors didn't understand the script. That's my conclusion after watching them act some story I never wrote. The actress was not too bad though, and with her I felt I could work. The actor, on the other hand, was a disaster.

Frozen, blocked. Stupid even. Yes, I had a stupid actor. He told me he was going through a hard time, splitting and getting back with his boyfriend. Hours later, in full daylight, we started to pack everything. The cameraman (who in his flat we shot) went to give a ride to make up and sound people. I stayed on the set with one assistant and the actress, who left few minutes later.

But after 2 seconds she came back, accompanied by the actor and his boyfriend. His huge, tattooed and scared, security guard with-a-pistol boyfriend. Shit. They demanded the tapes. I told the actor I will not use any of the scenes he appears, but the boyfriend told me not to talk to the actor, just to him. And that he wouldn't leave without the tapes.

I was tired. I felt like this is the first drama that happen that night. I felt sad about the whole thing. I gave him only the first tape. I wasn't even sorry. Just sad. How bad things can turn out.

Should I say I have learned my lesson? There were so many lessons to be learned there. Here I will write them down so before my next production I could read it and check myself:

1. Choose the actors carefully. Do they understand the story and their character? Are they committed? If they are not professional actors, why are they doing it? Can I trust them?
2. Choose the cameraman carefully. Does he speak the same language as me?
3. Make rehearsals.
4. Plan the location, the scene on the location, and decide on the shooting. Best to have also a story board.
5. Try to have a producer, or some dedicated assistant. Even if only for some mental support.
6. Make sure the set contains only the people who are neccessary.

For sure there are more lessons to be learned, but I'm so upset now it's too hard for me. I'm disappointed from myself. I can't think of the next production. Right now I hate everything.

The morning of a shooting day

We start shooting at 2AM. It's considered as tomorrow, when I think about it, but it's really today. Plus we meet crew only for set-up, which will be around midnight. I'm excited, and I start to see more clearly what I want to happen in the film and on the set.
I have tons of things I must do before evening comes (it's friday, so everything closes around 15:00). Gotta buy MiniDV tapes. There are the premium tapes, and I've heard it only makes a difference if you use HD. Is it? It's very hard to find differences between the tapes, so i guess it doesn't matter. At least not for me, at least no now.
What's your favourite food on the set? For me it's fruits & vegs. It's light and refreshing. Once this guy brought a huge pot with cholent. We all wanted to sleep afterwards. A pasta salad is alsoa good option for something that's not too heavy. Is it because I'm a female that i think of the food that will be on the set? I know guys can be really stupid about this, like bringing soft cheese with no knifes, of drinks with no glasses etc.
OK, enough chatting, we got a lot to do. Here's my check list:

Crew&Cast got exact times when they should arrive.
Equipment was checked (camera, lighting, sound).
Accessories for the set (props: fruits; art: pictures that Niki should bring).
Clothing for the actors.
MiniDV tapes!!
Food for us all (we shoot in-doors so it's much easier).
Copies of script to bring (and shooting script).
Second camera for the second film (ask M. about it).

OK, I think that's it. Now it's time to go get those tapes, or the film will stay in my head forever!

2 films in one day

Funny how things happen. For the last year I haven't shot a film (only short scenes for practice), and tomorrow I will shoot two films in 12 hours. I'm still a bit confused about this, and as the director I hope soon to get all sorted out. The thing is, one of my films is about me (aka the director) not knowing what's going on. What should I do then? You see, It's not exactly a making-of, It's a real scripted film, with another real scripted film inside it. To do the inside film good, I need to act like a real director. To do the other film good, I need to let all the mess around me take over (until the end, which is sweet).
Later tonight I will meet the cameraman (of the inside film). He does not yet know about the other film I will make, but he's a good friend and also involved emotinally with the film. So I think he should know and this will only help both films come out the best possible. We shoot it with the low-tech university equipment: the good-old Sony PD150. I haven't decided yet if I like this camera or not. As a student I don't get the chance to experiment with moch more, but from the little I have, I've learned I like Panasonic much better. The colors are nicer, I think. Also I've heard it from other students so I guess I can't be that wrong.
Anyway, a new film, and a new blog, and the summer only starts. I got green-light about another script I wrote (yes, I write my own scripts, so far) and I should shoot it in October. Lots of work, especially if you consider the fact that I'm still a student, which means exams, which means lot of studying in between filming. But that's better than an office job, no?