MA in Screenwriting in London?

Couldn't resist to adding this picture, though it has little to do with the subject of this post. The only connection is that those puppies are mixed Spaniel/Prince Charles and therefore quite British in origin.

After months of USA dreams I finally came to realize a degree in the UK would fit me much more. Why? Well it's closer to where I live now, and I can work and live there not on a student visa (which also means I can stay there after graduating and use my contacts).

The only real plus the US had (besides the weather) was the actual content of studies. But since I know how the higher education system works (great titles for courses that has no connection to the real content of the course), the most important thing for me in the MA/MFA program in screenwriting is the contacts I'll make and the opportunity to use them.

A friend of mine just graduated NYU and after a year of small internships had to return home since her visa has expired. Scriptwriting is a hard business and one year is really too short to use your contacts from school and find a work place to give you sponsorship. It's not impossible, but it's a risk.

So where can I study scriptwriting in the UK?

A few years back I almost started the BA program at Bournemouth University. It was great living by the beach and the university itself seemed serious. But it's so far from where the action is, that it seemed foolish to study there (especially as a foreigner). Besides, bournemouth University does not offer (as far as I know) an MA program in screenwriting.

Besides the decision of the location of your studies, you need to consider the two types of schools: the film school vs. the university. Studying in film school (such as London Film School or the National Film and Television School - which is not in London) will give you the opportunity to see your work produced while you're still in school. It's a big adventage, since in the real world it might take you years before that happens.

Writers and filmmakers quotes I've heared lately

"The good writer seems to be writing about himself, but has his eye always on that thread of the Universe which runs through himself and all things."
– Ralph Waldo Emerson

"The purpose of a writer is to keep civilization from destroying itself."
– Albert Camus

"There are some books that refuse to be written. They stand their ground year after year and will not be persuaded. It isn't because the book is not there and worth being written -- it is only because the right form of the story does not present itself. There is only one right form for a story and if you fail to find that form the story will not tell itself."
– Mark Twain

"I write to discover what I think."
– Joan Didion

“MODERN CINEMA IS A CODE.”
– Gus Van Sant

Writing a good monologue

For me, writing a monologue is a real tough business. I like to use minimal number od spoken words in my scripts, and my characters never give lectures. So it always seems contrived when I put a monologue in their mouth. Unless, of course, I do it good. And there are ways to write a good monologue.

What is a monologue, and why do we need it?

the whole idea is that monologue consists of change. The character's emotions are changing, or its ability to express it changes. So we don't get a lecture, we get drama. Inner drama covered by words. The use of monologue lets us expose the character, even if the words are just a disguise. Also, a monologue in the right moment in the script can get the theme on the surface. Don't make it too obvious, though. Let it be found.

The Four Emotions

You thought humans are complex, think again. At the end there are only four basic emotions you need to deal with: Happiness, Sadness, Fear and Anger. All other emotions are a combination of two or more of those four. Just like a painter, mix and match the basic emotions to touch your character's wound and transfer it through the journey of the script, the scene, the monologue.

Animation, combined technique

MUTO a wall-painted animation by BLU from blu on Vimeo

Don't forget your readers know a thing or two

Adam Sandler is an actor I really like in dramas and really don't like in comedies. Now his new film is out, You Don't Mess With the Zohan, and from the title alone I could tell you it's crap.

The story is about an Israeli who arrives NY to be a hairdresser. The original name of the Israeli was Boaz, a real Israeli name. Then they changes it to Zohan, which is nothing. For me it really said a lot about the rest of the film. It's a comedy, yes, but there is a real world behind it. Like every fantasy must have a clear set of rules to be plausible, so is a comedy. The reality that is the background of the story and the hero (in that case Israel and the war in the middle east) is very clear. How come the name of the hero is not part of this set of rules? Maybe they thought it sounded better, maybe they were afraid of too much realism that will make their comedy less funny, I don't know. For an Israeli guy, and especially the guy they chose to represent the ex-soldier macho, Zohan is not an option for a name. They could call him Zohar, which is a real name and the name of the Kabbalah book. Or just Boaz would be fine.

So when you're writing a script, don't forget there are people with some knowledge who read it. Jargon, slang and at least the basic set of principles of the described world - they should be correct. That's it.

Screenwriters' lab with Tawfik Abu Wael

As part of the student film festival in tel Aviv, I went to the screenwriters' lab with Tawfik Abu Wael. It wasn't really a workshop, it looked more like a local version of Actors' Studio (a show I enjoy a lot). Only the interviewer wasn't as bright as the bearded man at Actors' Studio.

Tawfik was charming. Very good looking, say what he thinks and never takes himself too seriously. I enjoyed looking at him while he talked. Yes, he's the most beautiful Israeli director. Competition is not very high, as most of the directors are spoiled skinny asses that are too pale to stand under the set lightning.

A funny moment was when the interviewer asked him if he had a cinema where he grew up, and Tawfik said that he didn't but when he was 14-15 he went to Tel Aviv to watch movies at the cinemas there. The interviewer asked him then: "how did you arrive to tel Aviv? you just took the bus..?". Tawfik gave her a De Niro look that says: "are you kidding me lady?" and someone from the audience said "he came here on his donkey". This was just a short moment that showed how for some Israelies an arab Israeli is always an Arab, that lives somewhere 'not far, not close, but never grasped'.

What's your favorite Coen brothers' film?

I loved No Country for Old Men, and after watching the trailer of the new Coen brothers' film, I can't wait to watch it. Seems like the summer film I'd enjoy. I also like the title: Burn After Reading.
I've always loved their films, also the way they write their script is great, making reading a pleasure.

I thought Blood Simple was excellent, also Miller Junction. Barton Fink is great, but a bit too much with the "hell" motif. A bit too simple perhaps. I hated, really hated, the film they've made with Cloony and Catherine (forgot the name, the one with the divorce lawyer). I don't like Cloony and anywhere he's in is not a place for me to be. I also thought the other film, with the robbery from the basement of the old black woman - that film was not good as well.

Alright, it's 9AM, must get this writing going before the day will fall on me!

Making your script visual

sometimes you have a very dull scene. Like, you need to show a conversation between two guys and it really has nothing special in it. Make it visually interesting so your audience (and readers) will have an extra detail to hang on to.

The bandaid on Wallace's nape is a great example. We feel Bruce's pain, and we don't need to see Wallace's face. It's actually much better without seeing it. The bandaid does the trick for keeping us interested visually (as our mind is searching for an explanation or meaning in this small disturbing detail).

Make sure your script has this visual side, or else why would we watch?

Where will my script take place?

The location you choose for your script is very important. This of course is also true for the smaller scale pieces, your scenes, but i'll talk about the general location of the script. A few points to think about when choosing the place where the action happens:

1. The location defines the world of your script. Or, better say, you define the world by choosing the locations. Say you write a hospital drama. Does it take place in a hospital like you and I know? Is it a hospital in a rough area of the city? A small private institute? How does it look: maybe it's a super modern facility in the middle of the desert? Think of the hospital in House and the hospital of Grey's Anatomy. They feel different. And it serves the script.

2. How real is your location? Is it there for some fantasy feeling? I'm not talking about SF here, but something more basic. Is it a place that looks very normal (the beach) but we see it in a new light, that makes it very unique (in Israel, a beach that's only for religious women, no men allowed)? There is a dramatic force to this location, conflicts and rules that go with it.

3. How well do you know this location? Say you write a comedy in space. You don't need to be related to NASA by any case. Maybe space is just another way to describe your highschool. Like they did in Alien: the spaceship (and the crew) look more like a truck drivers' station. Location, that is, goes hand in hand with character. And when your character doesn't fit the place - it's another conflict you must deal with.

Writing your protagonist is writing the antagonists

The above image is from Charlie Kaufman's Synecdoche, NY, a film I can't wait to see, even though the critics didn't go wild at Cannes. But somehow I don't believe critics (I thought 4 months, 3 weeks and 2 days wasn't THAT great) and I think festivals are just money machine and a good reason for the movie biz people to travel.

Today I want to talk about how you write your protagonist. Since you discover a character by the choices one makes, you should give your protagonists some tough choices to make. And he must face obstacles on his way. The harder the obstacle - the stronger (and better defined) your protagonist is.

Obstacles demand conflict. Without conflict there is no story. There must be something or someone standing in the way of your protagonist reaching h/her goal.

Obstacles are not only fire and big hairy men. It might be a character flaw (but that's the hardest obstacle which should be overcome at the end of the film, like the man in Jaws who is afraid of the water). We call this psychological obstacle. It can be a seductive woman (hello film noir fans), or an over protective brother: a relational obstacle. It can also be a phisical obstacle, such as a mountain or a very fast train the hero must jump from.

Tel Aviv Student Film Festival

I took this photo using my cell phone. It was a very hot day in university, and the black guys painted the black boards white.

The student film festival starts next week, so all classes are canceled (so we can enjoy the festival's screenings and workshops). I hope to get a seat for the meeting with Godard, and for the screenwriting workshop (they only allow 35 students in this one, which is really too little i think).

I have tons of writing to do so this week off works great for me. My teacher loves my idea for a feature, and I should spend some time developing it.
In the UCLA writers' program course i must write 20 pages to my script. I feel slightly lost there. I think it's because I know too much. I need to leave some holes for myself, so writing the actual thing (after completing the outline) still has some enigma in it, for me.

Michael Moore discovers Madonna

The documentry controversial filmmaker Michael Moore thinks the ex-pop queen is a natural born filmmaker. "She's sort of entered my realm," Moore said. "When I saw it, I thought, 'Wow, it's like she's been making these films for years.'"

Madonna's film, I am because we are, takes place in Africa. I still remember watching "Swept away" (directed by Guy for his wife) and thinking the original Italian movie was so good and the remake simply suck. I'm very curious about how good, or bad, this film is.

I Am Because We Are illustrates the poverty that children of the southern African country face, how the AIDS crisis is claiming lives, and the conditions that cause disease and other misery there. But the film urges people to volunteer and tries to offer hope.

"She takes the viewer through a very personal journey and tries to connect us, living here in the U.S., giving us a window into the way it is for other people in the world," Moore said. "You're extremely moved when you watch it. You understand very clearly why she's devoted so much of her life to the people of Malawi."

A day at the beach

I was supposed to work today on the next 10 pages of my feature script, and also do some rewriting on the first act. But instead I went to the swimming pool in the morning, and then met my friend Sharon in the afternoon on the beach. But, writers must live too! So I guess I shouldn't feel too bad about it. Just write faster.

Writing dialogue - one more tip

The pink capsule is the last thing I was able to do on photoshop before school started again. Since then I didn't touch photoshop, dreamweaver, and I miss it very much. I just received a tutorial from Lynda.com that I can't wait viewing. In the summer, I guess.

Anyways, here's a great tip for writing dialogue. We had to go and record conversations and bring it to class, so I did some eavesdroping the other night. It's hard to get the good stuff on tape if you don't have the good gear, but there are still some quite places around.

So actually this was the first good thing I've got from this writing/recording excercise: I listened. I've noticed how the world sounds, how the human voice mix with its surroundings. How in this chaos you can sometimes find a corner of order, and meaning.

The other thing I've learned was of course - how people talk. It's messy, rough, most of the times the people don't answer each other but more talk to themselves. Especially women (so i've noticed, no sexism there).

The most beautiful thing was hearing the things they don't say. Call it the subtext, internal dialogue or whatever, this is where things get interesting. Because it's not about words, or stories, it's about emotions. And emotions are mostly hidden. those two teenage boys I recorded, they found two florecent bulbs on the road and started to play with them like they were light swords from Star Wars or something. then they started to get more violent to each other, their ego controlled them. Then when I passed them and reacted (smiled at them) - their behavior changed. The one who was more afraid started to act fearless and the other one became softer.

So dialogue (and actions of course) should reflect the want and the need of the characters, even those that are not clear to the character itself. And remember, those wants and needs are changing all the time, because people react to other people's actions, and other changing situations.

Steve Kaire's 5 tips for a successful script sale

Steve Kaire, the pitch guru, or the script sale guru, or simply a very talented man in getting those lights turning GREEN, has some tips. He says it's the material the scriptwriter chooses that makes all the difference. So writers should think good before they start writing their scripts. Here are his tips:

#1 (most important; most difficult): Your premise has to be original and unique; or it must at least have an original hook, a “high concept” hook. For example, kidnap movies are generic, but RANSOM with Mel Gibson had a high concept hook. Instead of using the ransom money to free his son, Gibson uses the ransom money to put out a contract hit on the kidnapper.

#2: Your idea has to have mass audience appeal: “Most writers just don’t know what will work and what won’t work,” says Steve Kaire. “So give yourself the acid test. Ask, ‘Would you pay $12 to see this movie?’ After asking yourself, ask your friends and your family. I always ask my sister who’s a housewife, but has a good innate sense of what will or won’t work. If your script idea doesn’t pass the test of would you pay $12 to see it, then you don’t have a movie. When you’ve got a slam dunk idea you’ll know it because people’s faces light up and they say, ‘Why hasn’t this been done before?’ That’s how you know you’ve nailed it.”

#3: Your pitch has to be story-specific: Details are important. A generic idea isn’t enough. For example, years ago I pitched a script called “Worst Case Scenario.” This was before 9/11 and before all those “worse case scenario” books hit the market. The phrase was fresh at the time. I based my pitch on a newspaper article I’d read about the fact that the U.S. government has a special department that comes up with worst-case scenarios. I came up with a twist which is what made it a slam dunk. Here’s the twist: The most brilliant member of that department turns traitor and uses the information against the United States in the biggest terrorist act in history. It sold it immediately -- and then the studio I sold it to changed hands and that was that. No go. But that was a slam dunk.”

#4: The script’s potential should be obvious: In pitching your script, listeners should be able to see the set pieces and laugh at the comedy. Just the title and a brief “what if…” sentence can do that.

#5: Have your pitch come in short: Your pitch should be four or five sentences only. Tell what your story is about; not what happens in the script. And tell what it’s about in an exciting way. See if you can tell your story in just one sentence incorporating the 5 essential elements.

Writing characters

The characters you choose define the action and carry your premise through to its conclusion. They must have in place on page one, the power and will to engage the central conflict of your story.

Knowing your characters

You should know your characters well enough, so you could write them into any situation. Scenes from the past, day dreaming scenes, or any other scene that might not be in your script. This way you're sure you know your character.

You need to know where the character is coming from to know where they’re going. A character’s actions at all times needs to make sense and have consistency. Backstory is not something you see, but it's something that happens through present actions. Your character behaves the way it does because of her backstory.

Creating three dimensional characters means you must apply them the 3 aspects: physiological, sociological and psychological. Together they give reason for every possible human action. This is what will define the character's motivation. Motivation is the reason for taking action to solve a problem: why a character acts the way it does. This also relates to Stanislavski 7 questions.

Character's arc

Transformational Arc is the dramatic path of growth of your main character. The choices your character makes along the way will change her, so at the end of the journey she shouldn't be the same. If this didn't happen, there was probably not enough conflict.

Some tips on writing dialogue

Dialogue has two functions, to give information and to reveal character. It represents the internal and external life of your character. External dialogue is what you say; internal dialogue is what you mean.

• The way a character speaks provides the context of the character’s world in terms of culture, class, age, region, time, education, attitude and personality.
• Listen to your characters speak. In an orchestra different instruments make different sounds. Your characters are like instruments. Each voice has to be distinguished.
• The basis of good dialogue is conflict. Set up your characters in conflict, not conversation.
• Keep dialogue lines short, one or two sentences, avoid long speeches (a monologue is another story.
• Good dialogue illuminates what the character is not saying, the subtext. It reveals your character's inner life, its wantings, its true intentions. We almost never say what we think, and people who do are usually are defined as mentaly ill.
• Dialogue will move your story forward: it's the external dialogue. Decisions, commands, spoken intentions.
• Motivation is action; the audience should see motivation, not hear about it.

And remember, with different film styles go different dialogue style. Charlie Kaufman said in an interview that the work on the dialogue for Internal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind was very easy, because there was a very natural style to it. The characters just spoke. Being John Malkovich, on the other hand, was a much more stylezed piece, and demanded a very thought-of dialogue.

Script Analysis: coverage for Benny and Joon

For my course at UCLA Extension I had to write a coverage for Benny and Joon. When writing coverage, you want to focus on 2-3 main issues, strengths or weaknesses of the script. You write a synopsis (1.5-2 pages) and comments (1 page). The comments include your opening paragraph, a paragraph on plot, on characterization, on dialoge (not a must) and a summary.

Writing Coverage: the opening paragraph

This should be 2-3 sentences that mention your overall feeling about the script, the premise and theme (and the execution), and audience appeal.

Writing Coverage: the plot paragraph

Here you mention structure, act breaks, turning points and climax. Also: how did the subplots added to the main storyline?

Writing Coverage: the characterization paragraph

The main character, the villain, the supporting characters. Did the protagonist's arc exist? Were the characters too flat? Too cute rather than dramatic? Not funny (if comedy)?

Writing Coverage: the dialogue paragraph

This paragraph is not a must, but be sure to include it if you have something to say: was the dialogue too simple? 'on the nose'? No subtext? Talking heads? Not witty or funny (if comedy)?

Don't forget to write your final paragraph. it shouldn't repeat the first paragraph, it should sum it all up and also mention what rewrite is needed (if relevant).

Here's my script coverage for Benny and Joon (the script is very different than the movie, especially the character of Sam (Johnny Depp) which was my biggest problem there).

Benny & Joon
Synopsis

Under a car in his "Auto Clinic" garage we meet BENNY PEARL (early thirties) as he makes sure all is ticking around him. Everybody's waiting for his word – the delivery man, a customer, and ERIC, his employee and friend. Benny is on top of it. After work Benny goes straight home, where he lives with his sister JUNE PEARL (late thirties). Before he enters the house he meets MRS. SMAIL, the housekeeper, who announces she's quitting her job because she can't handle June anymore. Benny begs her to stay, but her mind is set.

Benny calls Eric, to tell him he can't come to
their poker evening because June can't be left alone. We understand June has a
pyromania issue, and that Benny doesn't want her to be left alone in the house.
They decide June will come with Benny. During dinner (peanut butter with celery
for June, pasta for Benny) Benny asks June what happened with Mrs. Smail. June,
fluent with words, says she left the house alone and that she met people. Benny
doesn't take this easily, saying it's dangerous for her. He tells her she joins
him for poker. Later, at Eric's, Benny and the guys are playing cards "for
keeps": each player writes on a note what he bets on (a snorkel mask etc.) and
places the note in the pot.

Benny meets with Garvey, June's
doctor. Benny is looking for a new housekeeper for June, and Garvey tells him to
consider a group home. Benny refuses, saying he's June's family and they should
stay together. Garvey takes Benny to the group home to see how it is. The home
is a good place for the schizophrenics, as we learn June is. Even one of the
managers is schizophrenic. When Benny's on his way back home, he finds June in
the middle of the road, with a cop questioning her for making a commotion on the
road, wearing the snorkel mask Benny won in poker. Benny talks to the cop and
June is saved. Benny asks his poker friend THOMAS, who works in the psychiatric
hospital, to help him find a housekeeper, but this leads to no result. June
plays with fire at home (in her basement painting studio), and Benny again finds
her on the right moment.

June invites street friends to the house,
while Benny's at work. One of them enters Benny's room and injects June's
medication into Benny's fish bowl. When Benny finds his fish Steve floating on
his back, he thinks June did it. Benny visits the group home again, to sign June
in. He has one month before admittance to tell June about it. In another poker
evening at Eric's, June joins the game when Benny's not there. She loses, and
gets to keep SAM, the unwanted cousin of one of the poker guys who came to stay
with him. Benny tries to evade this, but June insists it was a fair game. Benny,
June and Sam drive home. Sam is obviously a different kind of a guy, with a kick
for Buster Keaton. When they stop for a bite on the way, Sam starts a one man
show, a combination of food and acrobatics, and entertains the entire
restaurant, including June. Benny is simply stunned. RUTHIE, the waitress, is
not at all amused by his games, but once Sam recognizes her as an actress from
an old film he loves – she starts to like him as well.

Sam gets
the sofa in June's studio. Benny informs him June is mentally ill. When Benny's
off to work, Sam stays with June, who makes him her peanut butter shake. They
are getting close, June seems to like Sam. When Benny returns, he finds dinner
is ready: Sam and June are in the kitchen, Sam irons cheese toasts. Later Benny
talks to Sam, offering him the housekeeper job, and Sam accepts it, surprised
that someone wants to hire him. Benny, June and Sam visit the deli where Ruthie
works again. Benny talks to Ruthie, they get closer. Benny speaks of Sam with
high appreciation: he thinks he should use his acrobatic talent and perform.
After Sam entertains a crowd on the street, Benny tells him he should do it more
professionally and "be something". June says Sam is already something. After the
four of them cook dinner together at home, Benny drives Ruthie back home. We
learn she's the building's manager. Benny enters her flat but leaves quickly.
Ruthie is disappointed, but they set to meet again.

Benny and
Ruthie go to a posh restaurant. Benny is a novice, can't even order the wine
properly. Still they have a good time and talk. Later in front of her building,
Ruthie invites Benny to come up. He refuses, says he must hurry home. Ruthie is
hurt, quickly leaves Benny's car. Meantime at the house, June and Sam put their
love into action. It's a very tender love making, and Sam tells June he loves
her. When they hear Benny arrives, June tells Sam not to tell him anything, and
hurries to her room.

Benny tries to build a career for Sam: he
talks to a customer who has a comedy club, and is excited by the thought of Sam
performing in places like LA. Benny organizes Sam a performance at the club's
amateur night. June is angry, fearing Sam's new career will take him away from
her. Benny goes over the material for the show with Sam. Sam is torn between
Benny and June. When Sam tells June he won't perform at the club, because he'd
rather work in the streets, June is thrilled. She then says they need to tell
Benny about their relationship, though she fears Benny will be mad at her. When
Benny wants to tell June about the group home, June and Sam try tell him about
their relationship. When Benny understands he gets furious. He kicks Sam out,
and June goes up to her room, crying. Benny confronts June, telling her she
can't love Sam because she's crazy. This makes June go mad, and she jumps on
Benny. They roll on the floor, and out of Benny's pocket the group home brochure
falls. June sees it, and enters a catatonic state. Doctor Garvey arrives to give
June mediation. June refuses to talk to Benny.

Benny goes to see
Ruthie at the deli. She is not at all surprised about June and Sam falling in
love. At home June is burning an old photograph of her and Benny, when suddenly
Sam calls her from the window, and they run away together. When they are on the
bus, the house starts to burn behind them. June is in a bad shape, hearing
voices, mumbling and pounding on her head. Sam tries to calm her down but can't.
The bus stops when an ambulance of the psychiatric service arrives to take June.
Benny arrives home, where the firemen are already on their work. He then goes to
the direction of the bus, trying to take June away from the doctors, but it's a
lost battle. He confronts Sam, who imitates Benny as the one who tries to
control June's lives.

June is put to a psychiatric hospital, where
Thomas works. Benny arrives there, tries to get her out, shouting madly at the
cold admitting nurse who calls the guard. The next day, Benny drives his car at
high speed. We see flash backs from the car accident in which he and June lost
their parents years back. Benny avoids a fatal accident in the last moment. He
goes to see Doctor Garvey, who tells him June wants to stay in the hospital and
doesn't want to talk to nobody. Benny is in bad shape. He goes to Ruthie's
apartment, looking for Sam and finds him there. Benny says he doesn't want to
run June's life for her anymore, and the three of them go to the hospital to try
and get her out.

At the hospital Benny manages to enter the sealed
corridor where June is kept, but then the orderly catches him, thinking him for
a patient. Thomas rescues Benny, and Benny stands outside June's room, talking
to her through the small window. June doesn't believe Benny when he says he'll
let her live in her own apartment. Benny tries to convince her that his
intentions are real, that he accepts her falling in love, and admits he has a
problem falling in love himself. June is not convinced, but then she sees
outside the window Sam, performing another Keaton's acrobatic trick for her.
Garvey arrives, and June says she wants to be released. After some persuasion
the doctor agrees, and June is released. She gets a flat in Ruthie's building,
where she moves in with Sam. When Benny comes to visit, he brings flowers to
both June and Ruthie, who now gives him a smile again.

Benny &
Joon
Comments

A controlling man and his schizophrenic sister -
this may seem like a dark and heavy subject. The way the author chose to deal
with it, however, makes the premise almost irrelevant, and in a twisted way the
film more appealing. The writer finds easy resolutions to difficult issues, thus
the drama feels a bit underdeveloped. But the theme of a man that must learn to
let go in order to live, though unoriginal, is only the background for the
encounters of eccentric characters, almost "out of this world", that make this
script unique and even exciting.

The author does not create the
required balance of screen time between plot and characterization, and the
conflicts are too easily resolved so there is no real sense of urgency. The
romantic subplot of Benny and Ruthie does not feel real and the way Ruthie
becomes the solution (a flat for June, chance for life for Benny) is
implausible. The second act evolves around the character of Sam, with the first
half focusing on "Sam heals the family" and the second half on "Benny builds Sam
a career", but the real drama – the one between Benny and June – ceases to exist
almost entirely, and again it feels like the author chose the easy way out. The
climax, however, brings Benny and June together again, while Sam is left outside
the room. After the second act this feels like a mistake, since the relationship
between Sam and June has taken a priority over June's relationship with her
brother.

The choice of the writer to prefer fantasy over drama goes
hand in hand with his choice of characters, while the author prefers "cute"
characters over dramatic ones. June's schizophrenia seems inconsistent, and
except for the scene on the bus she seems just like an intelligent,
over-sensitive person. Her mental illness becomes only helps in portraying her
as a different person. Same goes to Sam, who is described as a very eccentric
young man, a "free spirit" with a big mouth and a weird sense of humor. Sam is
the catalyst for some of the plot turns, but not really because he's doing much
– it's more because of his being. With June and Sam portrayed as quirky figures,
their resemblance hides the main conflict of the story, between Benny and
June.

The main problem is with the dialogue given to Sam, which
grabs most of the attention with his endless jokes that are not understandable
to anyone but him. Also at the climax, the dialogue between Benny and June is
too obvious, almost melodramatic.

This script suffers from
inconsistency in tone. The choice of fantasy over realism does save this script,
making it appealing for a larger audience, but it also causes problems to be
solved too easily. Some changes to the characters have to be made, after a
consideration on which is the main relationship in the story – Sam and June, or
Benny and June. Besides that, the author's unique voice is certainly a major
asset of this script.

Act I - make sure you got it all

Every story has a beginning, middle and an end – setup, development and resolution. In the setup we’re introduced to the world of the story and the characters that inhabit that world. What is the story about? What is the world like? What time are we in; present, past or future? What is the genre, drama or comedy, mystery or horror, sci-fi or fantasy? Who is your main character and who supports h/her? What is your main character's flaw, what is their goal?

It is very similar to the 7 Questions of Stanislavsky, only at a much bigger scale: the entire story, the world of your script, etc.

In Act One we need to establish the film's world. In many cases that world will be revisited at the end of the story, changed because the events of the story have changed it, for better or worse.

Something must happen to precipitate change - something that motivates the main character to act. The inciting incident, or catalyst, is the call to action. It jump-starts the story’s forward movement.

Also included in the Act One setup is the central question. Also called the dramatic spine or the dramatic premise, everything in the story feeds off the central question, which will ultimately be answered in the third act climax.

The first turning point happens toward the end of the first act and drives us into act two. It is a decision that sets your main character’s goal. It frames the central question and moves the story into act two with new purpose and drive.

The Opening is very important. So much depends on what the eye sees first. A strong image is a strong opening.

It’s also time to introduce your major supporting characters. Supporting characters support the subplots that give dimension to story. The love interest, the best friend, the antagonist - all reveal character and add layers of interest to a story.
Act one is setup – foundation. A story succeeds or fails on the strength of its setup.

A good dialogue exercise for scriptwriters

Write a monologue of yourself. It should be a story taken from your life.
Then put the page aside and say the monologue out loud.
You'll find out how different things are said when they are actually SAID.

This excercise works best when practiced in a group, because the main thing that affects the way you speak is the listeners. This is why on the written monologue you probably mentioned things you didn't say when you had listeners, or maybe you said it different: maybe on the paper it was a tragedy and spoken it became a comedy. Or maybe you weren't the center of the story when you wrote the monologue, but when you said it it was all around you.

Cannes opens tomorrow and I'm so curios about Charlie Kaufman's Synecdoche NY. There are several other films that I would very much like to see, but after reading Kaufman's script for Synecdoche, I really want to see how he made it look. I was very happy when I saw the cast for the movie. It seemed accurate, though perhaps a bit too accurate (meaning, predictable). Philip Simor Hoffman, I really love this actor, but maybe this role fits him too well.

I'll have to wait, at least for a screener of some sort to come around. Probably the film will come to the cinemas in Tel Aviv only in half a year.

Stanislavsky's 7 questions for actors (and scriptwriters)

Stanislavsky wrote seven questions any actor should ask himself when approaching a play. This works great for writers as well, also writers for the screen. At the end, it's all about the human drama. Stanislavsky developed those questions by asking actors he thought were good how they did it. He believed any actor can be a good actor, it's only a matter of technique. Here are the questions:



1. Who am I?

Here you must think of the 3 aspects of your character, physically, sociologically and psychologically. Also, for each scene you write, think of the current state of being of this character. If he just found out his girl is cheating on him, he would not be exactly the same person as in the scene before. The scriptwriter must be specific enough as to what character is it. It cannot be played by either De Niro or Gerard Depardiue, it needs to be a clear picture.

2. Where am I?

And what is the relation of the character to this place - a familiar place, first time there, doesn't fit, etc.

3. When?

Day, year, weather. Why now? What happened before? It relates to what we wrote on the first question: the time of the scene creates the specific state of our character. If I just came to a date after a sweaty bike ride, I won't act the same, I won't sound the same.

4. What do I want?

This changes from scene to scene and even inside the scene. Each unit in the scene has its goals and actions of the characters inside it. Say I want to kill a spider. But then I look up closely and I'm amazed by its beauty. Now I don't want to kill it, I just want to catch it. so I do what's needs to be done, gets a nice jar and all, only to find out the spider is not so beautiful from inside the jar. So I want to let it go. But not in my house. So I go downstairs and let it free in the garden. Then I see this really cute guy. And again, I have a new goal...you get the point.

5. Why do I want this?

You always need to know the Why, which is by far more important than the What of the action. It gives the action the life it needed (no, it's not in the gasoline!). Say your character needs a coffee in the morning. She needs it real bad, because she hasn't been sleeping and she has a very important meeting in an hour. Now she finds out the coffee's over. She reacts differently than just a person who likes to drink coffee in the morning.

6. How will I achieve my goal?

Simply put, the actions I need to perform to get what i want. Open the drawer and get that Jacob's, to make myself the coffee I want.

7. What must I overcome?

So the coffee's over. I must go out to buy. But it's too early and the 7/11 is a bit far out, in the rough area of the city. I must overcome my hesitations first, than the actual trip to the area. Maybe a gang or two.



I find those seven questions to be extremly helpful for scriptwriting. If you as a writer cannot answer them, the actors will do this without your help. Your script might end up being a totally different thing than what you had in mind. So it's self protection. Use it.

Bill martell's tip for screenwriters: Late Start

Just saw that Martell's new tip is about late start, which is a crucial factor of a good script that grasps you from the first frame. Here's the link. Many have said before, start latest, finish earliest. It may not be good for every aspect of life, but for scriptwriting it's a sure bet.

Getting up early to write

A serious writer writes every day for a certain amount of hours. A serious writer doesn't need to find that time frame every day, it's more like a computer program that works on schedule. I've decided the best time for me is the morning.

5 good reasons for writing in the morning


1. It's early, your mind is still blured, you're almost between the dream world to this world. It varies a lot, some people experience awakening as a very long process. I think it's great for writers. It's kind of the same for people who wear glasses: they can experience a blured world or a focused world. This quality is very good if you're a painter. Being blured is good because your mind is easier, less analytic, more creative. It's related to the alpha waves in the brain, but I don't know enough to explain it here. Lets just say, your mind is more creative when sleepy. So use the time before you're getting too sharp.

2. Less interupptions. It's a very good habbit, to put the phone on silent mode and switch of that email notifier, and if possible to disconnect from the internet at all, when you sit to write. But then there's this small chip in your brain that reminds you you're on silent, and maybe from time to time you'll check to see if any interesting calls/emails arrived. Bad, very bad. You really want to dive into your story when writing, so you must forget about yourself. in the morning it can happen quite easily. The phone will stay silent (usually, for me, until 9AM at least), and the only mails you get are newsletters and such (or from your overseas friends). Well, maybe disconnecting the internet is not a bad idea in the morning as well.

3. The very good feeling of productivity. Even if you just sit and stare at the blank page, getting up to write makes you feel very productive. It's amazing, but trust me - even if you write just one page, but you did it early in the morning - you'll feel better the rest of the day.

4. Leaves you with a day to live. Use the active hours of the day to be active: walk outside, watch people, live a little. Use this world, don't hide in your room and type. When you write in the middle of the day there's always something you miss. Of course, sleep is a factor as well, but when you get used to it, 6 hours are just enough.

5. No cancelations. Probably nothing will come up at 6AM that will make you stop writing. You won't meet a friend, or have this movie you really must see, or this opening or whatever. No surprises for the early writing birds!

I hope I can remember all those rules myself tomorrow when my alarm screams...

The busy student

There's never an end to the process of learning, and that's a great feeling. However, I am just too busy at the moment to really have the time to write nothing, or write bad scenes. I am a student, which means I must write very good scripts, or I'm wasting valuable time. Not yet money, besides my own, but hey, that's even more important.

So I sat down to write the next 10 pages of my script, pages 11-20. I had a few ideas of what must happen, and the rest just came from itself. I don't think you should really be so hard on yourself when writing your first feature script.

Don't get stuck on research

I'm writing about something I don't know enough about. It's a field of science, and I don't know how those guys talk, their jargon/slang, I don't know which positions at the lab are responsible on certain things, etc. I've also never been to the city I'm writing about, somewhere in the California desert.

So I read about it, to make my thinking clearer. It also gives me new ideas, opens my head. But the most important thing at this phase is the actual writing of the script. It is the story behind that matters, and if I get stuck on research I won't be able to write at all. So some balance is needed.

Know your spine, then let your mind go

You've made your step outline (beat sheet) an you know where you;re going. Great. You know what each character symbolizes and what should happen with its want/need. You have your A story, B story, C story. Wonderful.

Now put that to the side and just write. Write your first act, based on what you know should happen. You have those 10 main beats that must occur, and the rest is yours to play with.

I'm talking about beginner scriptwriters, those who are still confused by the whole process. I feel it is very important to keep an open mind while writing, cos at the end - that's all we've got.
:)

Olmert corruption secret

news are part of screenwriting. So here's the latest issue around here. I'm not saying it's worth a script, but for sure it's worth publicity.

Here's the NY Post article on Israel's PM Olmert newest scandal, that maybe, finally, will bring him down.

Study screenwriting and getting excited

The semester started yesterday. So far I'm really excited cos my courses are so interesting, and I can't wait to sit and write the assignments. One course is less scriptwriting and more prose, which is something I for sure enjoy. The teacher is Sami Berdugo, who's also nominated this year for the Sapir Prize. I need to read his book. Funny thing, Berdugo reminded me of this man I once knew, and who today I discovered was the real character behind Alex, the character from one of the scripts I write now. A dedicated scientist that forgets to be human. It was funny how it all connected in one secong of enlightment: this man from the past, Sami and Alex. I guess Sami is the present and Alex is the future. In a way.

Great things also on the UCLA Extension program. I got an interesting comment from my tutor, telling me my story is complex and i should focus on the emotions. He also said my non-native English style only adds to the eeriness of the script. Now I should start working on the next 10 pages. I already wrote down the main things that will happen, but as always, writing the script is the best way to let my mind talk.

I'll be working this semester on 3 different projects: one UCLA feature script, one TAU feature script (taking place in Israel and written in Hebrew) and a TAU tv series. It's really exciting, I feel so alive. OK, it's only the first week and probably i'll get tired slowly, but i'm just happy to be on this screenwriting program. It's so right.

For next week at TAU I need to write a fragment, prose, with a single person in a closed room. I also need to post my synopsis for the feature film, and the class will discuss it next week. I'm quite nervous about it. I'm not so sure about big parts of the script. The real issue here is the tone. At the moment it seems to be quite a melancholic piece, like "the tenant" meets "the Fisher King" meets "Inland Empire". The last thing I want is to be influenced by Lynch. Lynch does Lynch best and better let him have his own kingdom to himself. He's doing great. I don't want a sad disturbing end. I don't feel like it now. Maybe it's because I'm pregnant, maybe because we moved out of the city not too long ago. But I feel like an up-ending for my script.

OK, back to work. Must send a coverage for Dave to my UCLA tutor.

This week on other screenwriters' blogs...

"One of the most important talents a screenwriter can have is the ability to see a situation from every character's point of view - to make the decisions your character would make. These skills can be put to use on the business side by putting ourselves in the shoes of the potential buyers for our screenplays. If we can imagine what it's like to be the villain of our script, it shouldn't be all that difficult to imagine ourselves as a motion picture producer".

This brilliant quote is taken from Bill Martell's ScriptSecrets. Bill talks about the problems of the rich; when you get a producer's interest, and he just want you to change some things in the script. Making your character suitable for marketing as a doll, for example. The characters I love most, I wouldn't want to have any doll in their shape. Maybe only Craig from "Being John Malkovich". Yes, he would make a great doll!

John August tells us how to write those hard-to-write scenes. Since i now start to write the first draft of my script, I found his tips really usefull. What do you ask yourself about the scene you're about to write. Helpful screenwriting tips.

The above picture was taken by my good friend Sharon Casson during her short trip to NYC. I soon need to start prepare the material for my MFA applications. I'm slightly nervous about this. The chances are so low, at the NYU-USC-UCLA prestige programs. It feels weird, I was always accepted to anywhere I went. I guess I should focus on my writings than my fears.

I just posted my first 10 pages to the course at UCLA Extension. I'm very curious about the responses. I should also read what others have posted and write comments.

Dissolving into the first act: 10 first pages

Still on the UCLA Extension course. Actually I take two courses now, and it's a tough job. They both demand a lot, much more than what I do for my classes at tel Aviv University. They don't spoil you in those online courses. I guess they say that as long as they save you the travel, they can give you some extra work. Maybe they have a point.

It's great, now I have to write the first 10 pages of my script. It's great cos whenever I scratch my head for the next scene on my outline, I remember that writing the actual script comes easier to me. It's not very efficient, cos I can end up writing 15 pages of script only to find out that except to one scene they are all trash, but the important part is that it's like brain food, it makes me more comfortable with my characters, let them breath a bit.

it's an assosiative process and it works great for me. It's not the real writing of the script, it's more like trying scenes, let my finger go with the story (i type with 1-2 fingers, but still fast).

For the other course I need to write a coverage on "Dave" and on "Benny and Joon". I haven't started yet, I hope it will be easy, as I don't think I should be spending too much time on it. Teacher told us it shouldn't take more than 2-3 hours all together (after reading the script).

besides all that, the next semester starts next week. I'm already 6-month pregnant, so I hope it won't be too hard for me to stay in school for 8-10 hours. God, it sounds hard. I had to come up with an idea for a film and a tv series. I started working on it. I must say, writing in Hebrew comes much easier for me.

I can't wait for my courses to begin (besides my fear of being too pregnant to enjoy them) - I have 2 courses about Japanese films, 2 courses about film and philosophy, and 6 courses in scriptwriting. I'm real happy, I must learn time mngmnt better though..

My 100th post - mind writing from bed

The above polaroid is taken from a designer's website, squidfingers he's called (or Travis). I love his patterns, I use it sometimes when I build sites, and I wish I could use them for my floors. Don't you feel like the gap between the cyber world and the real world is sometimes just too great? If I could use google to find my keys every morning. Or use my finger to pick a color from my room for photoshop (i guess that this is actually a thing that can be done now, with a special pen scanner or something).

I'm on my vacation now, lots of graphic and programming and much less writing. I think I needed this break to return with a fresh mind. Scriptwriting needs to be done with a fresh mind. I already have some new ideas for my script. It's not going to be a linear story, but I guess this I already knew.

Heath Ledger as an heroin addict (best script)

Last night I watched two films. The first one was Taken (Director: Luc Basson). It was again the only film to watch at the cinema next to my house. It was better than I've expected (I really had zero expectations from this film), but still. The action scenes were annoying, blurred with some ugly visual effect and cut way to fast to understand who was punching who. But it was clear the good guy (Liam Nissan, who looks here slightly like Al Bandy) will win. He only had one moment of trouble when the bed guys got him, but it only lasted 2 minutes and he got out.

There was no balance in the script of Taken - you get a slow begining with way too many scenes with the ex-wife and her husband, and some of our man's old service buddies, and then when the action starts he's all alone, no phone call from the mother or her powerful new husband, no help (besides one phone call in the very beginning) from his old buddies. Why did I need this excessive setup if it's not building to anything?

So we have here Luc Besson, and Liam Nissan, but a very bad script and bad direction. I'd say bad acting too, but it wasn't so bad to watch after all. The worst part is the end: when all is over and the poor girl is back with her father, she looks like someone who was just stuck in an elevator for a few hours, not someone who got kidnapped to be sold as a prostitute. Ok, so there might be some bad acting here after all.

The second movie was Candy, an Australian film that was on TV. It's about this couple and their heroin habbit, but it's so real that it just hooks you. The characters talk like people talk. They do drugs like people (with this habbit) do it. They love like people love. They get mad and depressed like us. It's so close, and quite sad. Excellent direction, great acting, original script. I loved it a lot. here is why we should be sorry Heath Ledger (who plays the boyfriend) is no longer with us.

Slow days with a book

So i had to stay in bed for a couple of days after the visit at the doctor. I took the time to read the book I took from the library: Alternative Scriptwriting. It turned out to be a pretty good book, and I especially enjoyed reading the chapters about genre (working with genre / working against genre). The authors discuss changing a motif in an existing genre or mixing genres, and they explain it in such clear way it's a pleasure to read. They also have case studies from films, but I only read it when I knew the film discussed.

I didn't touch my laptop, only after a day and a half I took it to bed. I had a job to do (some graphic stuff) and I felt better when it was done.

Dana Goldberg, a filmmaker and a friend, sent me a link to her new website. I was an assistant on her first short film, which she did while we were both studying art. I must say that although she was not a film student, her production was one of the most professional productions i saw. There's something in film students that make their ambition to be only external, very empty, and not lasting. But maybe this is why I switched to scriptwriting studies.

An actor who can choose a script

They showed two Jim Carrey films on TV this week: The Truman Show and Fun with Dick and Jane. I just love Jim Carrey, and this is not something that happened too quickly. It took me some time, and especially Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind to understand this guy is not only masks (though I also really loved The Mask). I think it was when I saw him on Liar Liar I thought I like him when he tries a little less. I know he makes many films and it's easy to say he chooses good scripts (cos I just don't mention the ones I don't like), but still. At the least he's very talented and has a pretty good agent. And actually, the films he did which I don't like - he's still adding something there. Like Bruce Almighty.

Another actor who I started to like quite late is Adam Sandler. I didn't like his voice (which is funny cos Adam Sandler actually sings, he even recorded an album or something). I felt he was a fake, even as a character. Until I saw him on Punch Drunk Love and then on Reign Over Me.

By the way, it's really funny, but I thought that 50 first Dates and Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind took the very same theme and made 2 very differet movies out of it. Those two films are about the very essence of love, and in both the love has the memory loss as an obstacle - but the love keeps winning, it's eternal.

This week on the best scriptwriters' blogs

Bill Martell tells us all about the difference between SLANG and JARGON. I find it very important now, as I write a script with a scientist as my protagonist. Martell taks about using original slang in your movies rather than the real-but-boring we all know already. Cool.

John August advices a Tisch graduate about her next steps. I hope myself to take the screenwriting MFA in 2009 so it's interesting to see that this is in fact a beginning of a long road.

A voice mail recording from Bruce Cambell is what Kristen Havens chose to put at the top of her homepage. Kristen: "I had emailed him through the contact form on his website, telling him about my comedic B-movie script, "Deers!", and asking if he had any advice about getting started in screenwriting. He called me at home to respond, ensuring a lifelong crush on my part."

But hey, what can a writer do but write?

Another good scriptwriting book

I'm huge. I'm really puffed. I didn't know pregnancy makes you puffed. It's weird. I don't recognize myself in pictures. Somehow in the mirror it looks alright. But the pictures - they don't lie.

Today was the last day at school, I had the japanese cinema class. Was ok, we talked about Ran of Kurasawa. Tomorrow I have the amniotic fluid test, after which I must stay in bed for 48 hours. So I took a couple of books from the library.

One of the books is Alternative Scripwriting (2nd edition) by Ken Dancyger and Jeff Rush. They go over alternative structure (not only the classic structure of the three acts exists, you know), alternative genre (mixed genres) and alternative character view. I only began to read but it seemed like a great book to learn the scritwriting craft from, and to open your mind. Since I have now two weeks vacation, I've decided to do more reading on the first week, and focus on writing on the second week. This book seems to be the exact thing I needed.

The other book I took was Ugly Feelings. It talks about negative feelings, and it's based on this novel...I forgot which. I only read a few pages on my way home in the car, so I can't really say anything about this book. But it seems interesting, though not very light. It's from Harvard Press.

I don't know what's the premise of my script is. I knew, but I think it's not true for me. So I don't know anymore. And dose Theme and Premise the same thing? I'm not sure of anything anymore, but I'll take this week to figure it all out.

I used to think my cat was so big. Now I'm even bigger.

My vacation is about to begin

This is the last week of the semester (actually this year a trimester). I don't care what I'll do - I'm just happy the summer is here and I can get up early and write. It doesn't yet happen in the rythme I want (every day for a fixed amount of hours) - but it will.

Also, as you see in the picture above, my belly is getting bigger every day, so soon with a baby I will have to get up early. I love it (in the summer).

I started to write the script (the one I worked on during my first online scriptwriting course at UCLA Extension). I'm still not sure how I want it to be told - but only writing can tell me.

reading scriptwriters' blogs is a great way to learn the craft

I really enjoy reading other writers' blogs. First off, I see I'm not the only one who needs eye drops after too many screen hours. Second, sometimes they really have good tips or interesting adventures to share. Go to my link list of the best scriptwriters bloggers I found. Each one of them has its style of blogging. I love them all.

This morning I saw on the Vanity Fair online those great old film posters (or should I call them great old movie posters? was there a difference back then?). Those posters were taken from the Leonard Schrader Collection. Most of them are an example of great design, where graphic didn't go against emotion but totally surrendered to it. Sometimes I think modern graphic designers are a bunch of cowards, who negate any emotion instead of finding new ways of expressing it. Maybe they're just too drugged or depressed or whatever. I love those old sentimental moments.

Unforgetable scenes from Juno - now JEWNO

How to make your script say what you mean

I let the class read my script yesterday. It's not being read out loud on this class, each one reads and then we all discuss it. My first scene was not completely understood by all. Actually, I think only 3-4 students understood the subtext. Though I was disappointed, it only meant one thing: I needed to make my point more obvious. How do you make the information in your script be clear but not too explicit? How can the subtext talk without really being "heard", but rather understood?

My scene was about two lovers, both around their 50s. He's divorced, after his wife found out about his lover. He's living in secret ever since, never feel free again. Also to his current girlfriend he treats like sshe's his lover. They meet at his place, order food, stay indoors. In this scene he decided he wanted to go out with her and act normal. Then he finds out she's actually hiding him, and she has another boyfriend. He's now the "other man".

What was important for the audience to get is:
1. They are lovers.
2. Until now they stayed indoors, secretly, and the man thought it's his wish.
3. Now the man wants to change it, to feel free.
4. The woman wants things to stay the same.
5. The woman has a boyfriend.

The fact that they are lovers and that they meet in his place (they don't live together) is quite easy to show. It's enough that she's wearing cloths that are on the floor, or that she has her small beg with her, or that she asks him where does he keeps the glasses. Basically it's better if this doesn't involve dialoge, or at least if the dialogue will not only be there for that purpose.

How will you show on your script that they meet all the time indoors? How do you create the sense of a routine based on something that's only shown once? This is screenwriting. Think about the screen. What do you see when something is a routine? Automated actions, habits. A no-surprises situation. When I write, I like to think about my own life - when did I feel like that? I remember the first weeks with my boyfriend. He worked as a waiter and we used to meet every day at 12:30AM, after he's finished. He took the subway and came to my place. We had a joint, perhaps a drink as well. He used to bring me indian food from his restaurant. We sat on the carpet, smoking and chilling, then ate the dish in the metal box. Then we used to fuck and go to sleep. A very pleasant routine, if you ask me.

There were expectations. If he didn't bring food, I would probably ask about it - 'no lunch box today?' or something of that sort. If we ran out of weed, I'd probably go and get some from a friend and tell him about it. To notice a routine, you need to show something is out of order. A small thing, that does not kill the routine, maybe even preserves it (like getting your drugs from a different source so your night smoking routine wouldn't stop). I think this is the best you can do without the use of dialogue. Of course, if you choose to use dialogue, your character can say - 'why don't we go out this time? who are we hiding from?', and then you understand that they always stay indoors. This last sentence can be used to cover both points 2+3 of information, so it might be wise this time to use dialogue. They normally stay indoors, but now the man wants to change it.

The woman wants to keep things as they are: she can take her time, express rejection to the idea with her body language, or simply say she doesn't want. She can also do something more extreme, to say she must leave. Then you also understand she doesn't really into spending time with this guy (after the sex).

That the woman has a boyfriend: Here I failed in my script, cause only few scriptwriting students understood this piece of information. I didn't want to use dialogue for this one. I felt it's too obvious. Instead I used the woman's body language: when he asked her "who are we hiding from", she looked at him serious and kept quiet. then she stick her earings in her ears. I felt it expresses what she doesn't say: that she's actually hiding from someone else, her boyfriend (I thought the earings will link to her boyfriend). But it failed. I think that for my second draft I will use dialogue. The woman will say, after being quiet: 'now, don't start with asking too many questions'. This would make it clear enough. Or maybe not? Maybe this too needs another explanation.

Here I want to introduce another scriptwriting technique that is very common and affective: split your information. If you put a hint here and another hint there, the secret reveals itself. If she will say this sentence, and then a few seconds later she will check her phone, write an sms or something, it will get clearer. Or if they will watch a film on tv that's about cheating, and she will have a certain way of looking at it - it will give that extra info we needed.

Just to sum it up, the inforation needs to reveal itself, so it wouldn't feel like there is a scriptwriter behind the scene who has the need of showing us something. Goodluck!

Learning scriptwriting by listening

Yesterday my short script was read in class. It's an interesting an important experience, to hear your words. Normally it would be done by actors, but here my friends from class read it. It's a very weird feeling, to hear your script being read. Sometimes it sounds like it's too slow. Sometimes you lose track.

My teacher loved it. Also most of the students, I think. You can never really know. People always trying to be nice. This is the hardest part in scriptwriting studies: to understand what people really think at your work. My problem is I never try to be nice, but then I don't want to be the only mean girl in class. Maybe I'm a geek. Probably.

I also liked my script. It's only a first draft, but I think by the second draft it can be ready for shooting. I think I'll start a blog in Hebrew (that's the language of the scripts I write at Uni) and post there my entire scripts. I would very much like to see them filmed. I can also contact animation students. They are always hunting new ideas. But then again, it takes them 2 years to make a 4 min film. But I guess better late than never.

I started now to read again Christopher Vogler's "The Writer's Journey". I thought both Dara Marks and Christopher Vogler approaching screenwriting from the point of view of myths. If you want to study scriptwriting you must get a broarder view of things. So I'm reading this book again, after 4 years almost.

Today (I got up real early, it's not even 08:00 now over here) I hand another script in class. This was a very interesting scriptwriting excersize: we had to complete one of the students' scripts. We all got the same script, 4 pages long, which was read in class the week before. It was a whole script, with a beginning, middle and an end (in that order, actually). Our mission was to add another 3-5 min script to the existing one.

It was hard for me to decide how to tackle this problem: obviously the script already had a protagonist with a problem that was solved. I looked for another open issue I can work with. I found it in another character (the father of the protagonist, which now became the protagonist in himself). He had an inner fault that screw up his life and the life of his family: he didn't respect his needs, he kept living in secret. It led to the break of his marriage and now it was happening again (this is where my script begins). He had a girlfriend. They used to meet at his place, staying in bed, ordering food, never leaving his house. He was afraid to meet one of his children on the street, he felt it would be awkward. After he and his daughter had a talk about the past (that part is from the original script) he finally realized it is ok for him to move on. It's not that everybody around him reminded him of his past - it was he who did it to himself. It was time to put it all behind. he offered his girlfriend to go out to eat instead of ordering food again. She refuses. It sinks slowly, but then he understands - he is the other man in her life. It ends right there. He's alone. He goes to the movies. They screen the German film "The Life of Others". At the end of the film, when the mailman walks the empty former east Berlin street alone, our guy starts to laugh. He doesn't stop, even when people look at him with anger. He laughs so hard.

That's it. I wonder if it's clear from my 3 pages script. The department for scriptwriting is the best thing that ever happened to me. Writing is...

ABC stories (a good book for screenwriters)

I'm so happy that in two weeks starts my semester break. I have tons of things I plan to do during this month (no exams, total freedom, yay). The course I took at UCLA Extension (Online) was over last Wednesday. The next one will only start on April 9th so I have two weeks of pure free time to work on my beat outline.

A few days ago I got the newsletter from Creative Screenwriting and it mentioned a seminar with Dara Marks. Her name didn't sound familiar so I googled her. Her seminar is based on her book, "Inside Story: The Power of the Transformational Arc". I didn't find it in the Uni's library, so I checked out the Amazon "surprise me!" feature. They usually let you browse quite a good amount of pages. I started to read, bit here, bit there. I loved they way she approached the structure of the script. What Dara Marks says is that you have three main plots: your A, B and C story. So far I knew.

A story is the external goal of the protagonist. B story is her inner conflict. C story is a relational conflict. And guess what? Most of the stories don't put the love story on their A plot. She talks about Casablanca, and says: The A story is about Rick and Lazlow. Will he help him get away? The B story is about Rick's inability to connect to other people's needs. The C story is about Rick and the girl. If Rick solves his inner story (and start thinking about the needs of others), he will solve both stories A and C. Pretty neat, eh? Pretty neat.

This made me thinking a lot. A subplot is not something that is 'less then' the plot. It's actually more of the plot's basis. And guess what? The theme of your film, the one thing you can't pronounce for days? It's right there, in the inner conflict of your character.

What do I tell you, I really must put my hands on this book, they don't sell it anywhere besides Amazon and the official website of Dara Marks (as far as I know). Ah, and in the writer's store (CA). By the way, on the writer's store website you can find an extract from the book, about that inner conflict of your character. It's called "The Fatal Flaw". Have fun!